Category “wolf”

17

Oct

the weekend of firsts pt. 1

wolf photobooth1

Wolf went to the photobooth for the first time this weekend.  obviously he was more interested than anything other than the lens: the blinking lights from the credit card machine, mom, the shiny stuff above the lens, mom’s credit card waiving above the lens, you get the idea.  none the less, here his is in all his 4 and half month photobooth glory.

photobooth wolf

sigh.  I love this boy.

10

Aug

my sweet little Wolf

wolf

a few weeks ago, my friend Leah Verwey came over to take some photos of Wolf.  they turned out pretty amazing and I wanted to share them with you.  Wolf is just such joy lately, smiling and being extra cute, so he was a natural in front of the camera!  here are a few of my favorites.

wolf

I’m so so happy to have theses photos.  it makes me want photos of our little family at every stage of Wolf’s life. since either Levi or myself is always the one taking photos, it was so nice to have Leah come over to photograph us in our space. we just went about our usual routine interacting with Wolf and I absolutely love how they turned out.

wolf

Leah is a Portland based wedding and commercial photographer.  be sure to check out her blog and her other project, Space PDX for some more beautiful photos.  thanks again, Leah!!

13

Jul

babble babble…

me and wolf

we’re back from a great trip to Idaho.  we had such a good time and weren’t ready to come home.  Wolf went on his first hike plus he got to meet lots of family including his aunts and uncles, grandparents and great grandparents!  he simply loved all the attention.  you can see a few pictures here.

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here are some posts from Babble you might enjoy:
more sewing books & patterns I’m eying
the dirty details of diapering
Wolf loves music!
celebrating our 1 year anniversary meant leaving the baby with a sitter.

pssst… do you instagram?  I’m @unrulythings if you’d like to follow me!

29

Jun

Wolf goes to The Coast

last week we took Wolf on his very first vacation to the Oregon coast.  we stayed in Astoria for a night and had a wonderful time.  the the next day we drove down to Cannon Beach for a walk on the coast.  the Oregon coast is a magical and special place for Levi and I so it only felt natural that this be Wolf’s first vacation.

astoria2astoria1astoria3

28

Jun

somebody is one month old!

wolf

Wolf turned 1 month old on Sunday and I can hardly believe it!  time really does fly with a new baby.  of course I’m biased, but time especially flies with one as cute as Wolf!

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today I wrote about my struggles with breastfeeding on Babble.  I’ve been struggling to boost my milk supply and it’s been quite a challenge.

here are a few other posts from Babble you might enjoy reading:
reflecting on becoming a mother
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Wolf sleeps!
road trips with a baby.
searching for the perfect non-diaper bag.

 

17

Jun

Wolf’s birth story

hiya Wolf.

There will be moments in your life that you choose to forget and moments that you choose to cherish in your heart forever.  Your birth was one of those “remember forever moments” and I think about little pieces of it every time I gaze into your little eyes.  In short, it was incredibly monumental – like no other thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.  The entire 34 hours from when my water broke to when you entered the world was a complete whirlwind of emotion.  We were packed full of fear, anxiety, love, joy and even sadness. But now you’re here and I want to write this all down so that I can hopefully share with you one day.  Here goes…

wolf

Wolf, minutes old, holding onto his Dad’s finger.

I was over 41 weeks pregnant and 5 days from facing induction.  Every night I’d go to sleep hoping to wake up to contractions or something that meant this baby was on his way.  So Wednesday night at 4:45 am when I got up out of bed to go to the bathroom sans labor signals, I didn’t think much of it.  Mid-night bathroom trips meant peeing in the dark so when I wiped and noticed that something felt a little different, I got up and flipped on the light to investigate.  I saw at the time what I thought might be my mucous plug, but in retrospect, I think it had been the first bits of my water breaking.  A rush of emotion came over me and I was excited that this meant things might be starting!  I finished up and went back to bed.

About 15 minutes later my tummy started cramping just a bit.  I’d been laying on my right side and decided to flip over to my left when – OMG.  Levi stirred in bed and I said to him, “Holy crap, I think my water just broke.”  Then I got up and ran back into the bathroom to confirm and yep, I was dripping fluid everywhere.  Luckily I’d gotten some humongous pads from a friend in a care package so I slapped on of them on and went back into the bedroom to tell Levi things were starting!

If you’ve been following my posts on Being Pregnant, you’d remember that I’d tested positive for Group B Strep.  That meant if labor started with my water breaking, I had to go into the hospital right away so that I could be hooked up to an intermittent IV of antibiotics.  So of course, having labor start with my water breaking was not plan A of “labor at home for as long as possible”, but I was over due and at least something was happening!

I got in the shower while Levi started making us a smoothie for breakfast.  When I got out I called labor and delivery to let them know I was on my way.  I text my doula Angela to let her know my water had broken, then started packing things up around the house to make our way to the hospital.  I was so excited and yet so nervous!  Our baby was on his way and would enter our lives very very soon!  I couldn’t stop thinking about how things would play out, what he’d look like when placed on my chest or what would be the first thing I’d say to him.  At about 6:30 am we headed out the door and excitedly walked the 3 blocks to the hospital.

Once we got checked into our room, our nurse came in to check my blood pressure, the baby’s heart beat, contractions and set up my IV of antibiotics.  Penicillin was the antibiotic of choice to treat the GBS, however I’d had an allergic reaction to it when I was 14 which caused me to break out in hives.  So my doctor had recommended that I was given Ancef, even though it could cause a similar reaction in some patients.  Turns out I was one of those patients and sure enough, my face began itching and tiny hives started popping up all over it.  The nurse called in my doctor and she immediately took me off the antibiotic and gave me Benadryl.

Now it was about 10:00 or 11:00 am.  I’d only begun feeling mild contractions so far and they were coming about 5 to 10 minutes apart.  And this was how things continued to be for hours.  {The main reason I’d wanted to labor at home, remember?}  Levi had downloaded some tv shows for us to watch on my laptop so we killed some time waiting for things to progress.

Sometime after lunch, my doctor came back in and said that she wanted to try another antibiotic on me called Vancomycin to treat the GBS.  So back to the bed I went to be hooked up to the IV and monitored intermittently.  Things were going well, aka no hives, and almost 80% of the antibiotic was in my system when I started getting really hot.  I looked in the mirror and not only was my face bright red but my chest was bright red too and my lips were swollen.  My nurse immediately called the doctor in and again I was taken off the IV and given Benadryl to calm the allergic reaction.

By the third tv show and later into the evening, contractions had started to come stronger and more frequently.  They still weren’t super strong but they were strong enough that I was having a hard time concentrating on the show.  I was excited that things were moving along, but I also knew that time was of the essence, especially as it had now been established that my body wasn’t responding to antibiotics and the longer I’d been ruptured, there was more of a danger of the GBS getting to the baby.

It was almost 8:00 pm when my doctor suggested that we start Pitocin.  My heart sank.  I’d been hoping for a natural delivery with no pain medication so her suggestion hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’d learned that one thing that could keep me going through the intense pain ahead was my natural endorphins telling me to hunker down and beat the pain.  Pitocin would essentially be blocking my natural coping mechanism along with bringing me contractions that would eventually come on stronger and quicker than natural contractions.  My labor was progressing slowly and because I wasn’t on antibiotics my doctor explained that she specifically wanted to get things moving to protect the baby.  While I really really didn’t want to give in to Pitocin, at 12:00 am, I finally decided it was time.

From the time that I was first given Pitocin at 12:30 am to almost 7:00 am was a complete blur of intensified contractions that went from being tolerable to downright unbearable.  I was feeling most of the contractions in my lower back so every position I was in just hurt.  I’d go from hunching over the bed to sitting on the birth ball, and paced around the room in between.  My doula Angela and Levi went back and forth massaging my lower back through each contraction but nothing seemed to help relieve the pain.  Angela would breath with me and Levi would hold my hands in encouragement.  Since I’m not had any cervical exams yet due to my water breaking, I had no idea where I was in labor.

Finally at 7:00 am, I decided I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I asked my doctor to check my cervix for the first time and decided to make a decision on pain relief based on how far into labor I was.  She checked me, announced that I was only 4cm dilated and I made the decision right there to get an epidural.  Looking back, I really can’t remember how painful it was.  I probably could have endured the pain longer if I’d been able to truly focus but I was so tired and the contractions were so close and strong that I just gave in.

By 8:00 am the anesthesiologist had the epidural in place and I was in the hospital bed resting.  I was in and out of sleep all morning until 11:00 am when my doctor wanted to check my cervix again.  I was shocked when she said that I was dilated 8cm already!  Plus, they told me that my body had finally kicked into labor on it on it’s own and they’d turned off the Pitocin mid morning.  All I could think was, hooray!  I’m doing it!  Something was happening!

Then the hours went by like minutes.  The epidural I was on was set to a very low dose so not only could I feel my legs but I could feel the contractions growing stronger and stronger.  Even though hours went by, to me it felt like I’d only blinked an eye when my doctor came back to check my cervix again around 5:00 pm.  She smiled and said I was 10cm dilated and it was time to push!  I felt an intense amount of relief.  This was it!  That’s when things started to get exciting.  I could feel the emotion in the room change considerably.  All I could think about was that I’d get to meet our baby soon.

In my birth plan, there were a few things that I said I wanted to be asked if I’d like when the time came.  One of them was whether or not I wanted a mirror at the end of the bed so that I could see things progressing.  While I was writing my the plan I thought, really?  Why would I want to stare at my vagina?  But when the time came, to literally watch myself give birth and to see the progression as our baby’s head entered the world was incredibly motivating.

Since I was on a really low dose epidural, I could feel every contraction building up.  My doctor and the nurses told me to push when I felt ready and I got two to three good pushes with each contraction.  Every time I pushed, my body was muffling the baby’s heart rate monitor, making it appear that his heart rate was dropping.  So every once in awhile they’d have me sit through a contraction if I could manage not pushing.

wolf me

Me and Wolf, having an incredible bonding moment.

I pushed for about an hour and 20 minutes before Wolf was born.  Levi and Angela were up by my head, cheering me on.  My doctor and nurses said I was a natural born pusher!  And man did I feel like it.  I felt so strong.  Like I was born ready to push.  I tilted my hips and pushed with all my strength and Wolf’s head was born at 6:48 pm.  The cord was wrapped around his neck once so my doctor gently unwrapped him while the nurses suctioned his mouth and nose because of the GBS and meconium in my water.  Then with the next contraction I took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could and out he came.  His warm, wiggling, pink body was placed on my chest immediately while they wiped him off.

I just remember everything being so surreal.  One minute this little person was inside my body and the next he’s crying and looking at me with big newborn eyes while lying naked on my chest.  I’ve never felt so much happiness and love at one moment in my entire life.  I looked over at Levi and we kissed and gazed at our little man – our son Wolf.

levi wolf

Levi and tiny Wolf.

Now you’re 3 weeks old.  These three weeks have been a blur yet it seems like so long ago this story began.  Writing this brought back so many memories and emotions.  To be completely honest with you, adjusting to our new life with you has been really tough for me.  From challenges with breastfeeding to no longer being on “my schedule”, I’ve had many sobby moments.  But you know what?  I look at you, this tiny person that your Dad and I created and even in the hardest moments, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.  I now know what my Dad was talking about when he told me about the love I’d feel for you.  I wasn’t sure what I was feeling in those first few days – perhaps a mixture of delirium and overwhelming love.  But when I look at you, teary eyed, swaddled up snug as a bug or falling asleep with your mouth slightly open, hearts and stars shoot out of my eyeballs.  You’re quite possibly the most incredible thing in the entire world and I love you to pieces.

xoxoxo mom

9

Jun

2 weeks old

wolf

two weeks?  my goodness, where did the time go?

so far things have been pretty easy with Wolf.  he only cries or fusses when he’s hungry or when he’s having his diaper changed.  the little man hates diaper changing time.  we’ve had mid-changing pee and poop more times that I’d like to recall!  but regardless how “easy” things seem, we are exhausted.  {my eyes are feeling heavy as I type this, but Wolf has decided he doesn’t want to sleep this evening and he’s wide awake right now!}  no one really tells you how hard it is to transition from your old life to life with a baby.  but we’re adjusting and falling more and more in love with Wolf every day.